Sep 29, 2012

Doubts from Steinbeck

John Steinbeck
I'm working on a play. This involves a lot of carrying it around in my brain followed by infrequent bouts of getting those thoughts down on paper. Sometimes it sucks. Sometimes I feel I have something worthwhile in the works. Sometimes it is a joy, sometimes a drudgery.

Today I made very little progress and the whole exercise seemed ridiculous to me. And then I stumbled upon a neat entry on Austin Kleon's Tumblr... excerpts from John Steinbeck's working diary while he was writing GRAPES OF WRATH.

June 18: …I am assailed with my own ignorance and inability. Honesty. If I can keep an honesty to it… If I can do that it will be all my lack of genius can produce. For no one else knows my lack of ability the way I do. I am pushing against it all the time. Sometimes, I seem to do a good little piece of work, but when it is done it slides into mediocrity…

This totally lifted my spirits. I mean, if Steinbeck had bad days, then...

The diary is collected in Working Days: The Journal of The Grapes of Wrath, 1938-1941.

Sep 27, 2012

Composer John Adams's 106th Julliard Commencement Address

"I should be doing the ritual thing and blessing you with words of wisdom and encouragement. But the truth is, all I really want to say is thank you. Thank all of you students who, against all odds and against all the pressures to do otherwise, have chosen to have a life in the arts. All the paradigms of success that we routinely encounter in our everyday lives—on television, in movies, in the online world, in the constant din of advertising, even from our friends and families—all these “models” for success and happiness American-style are about what is ultimately a disposable life, about a life centered around material gain and about finding the best possible comfort zone for yourself.
But by choosing a life in the arts you’ve set yourselves apart from all that and from a nation that has become such a hostage to distraction that it can’t absorb a single complex thought without having it reduced to a sound byte. Most people now, and particularly most people your age, live in a fractured virtual environment where staying focused on a single thought for, say, a mere seven seconds presents a grave challenge. (I mention seven seconds because a staff researcher at Google in San Francisco recently told me that 7.3 seconds was the amount of time that an average viewer stays on a YouTube site before jumping to another page.) You have grown up in a world that offers constant, almost irresistible distraction not unlike what the serpent in the Garden of Eden offered to Eve when he whispered to her, “check out them apples.”
The arts, however, are difficult. They are mind-bendingly and refreshingly difficult. You can’t learn the role of Hamlet (no less write it), you can’t play the fugue in the Hammerklavier Sonata (no less compose it) and you can’t hope to move effortlessly through one of Twyla Tharp’s ballets without having submitting yourself to something that’s profoundly difficult, that demands sustained concentration and unyielding devotion. Artists are people who’ve learned how to surrender themselves to a higher purpose, to something better than their miserable little egos. They’ve been willing to put their self-esteem in a Cuisinart and let it be chopped and diced and crushed to a pulp. They are the ones who’ve learned to live with the brutal fact that God didn’t dole out talent in fair and equal portions and that the person sitting next to them may only need to practice only half as hard to win the concerto competition.
And the wonderful, astonishing truth is that the arts are utterly useless. You can’t eat music or poetry or dance. You can’t drive your car on a sonnet it or wear it on your back to shield you from the elements. This “uselessness” is why politicians and other painfully literal-minded people during times of budget crises (which is pretty much all the time now) can’t wait to single the arts out for elimination. For them artistic activity is strictly after-school business. They consider that what we do can’t honestly be compared to the real business of life, that art is entertainment and ultimately non-essential. They don’t realize that what we artists offer is one of the few things that make human life meaningful, that through our skill and our talent and through the way that we share our rich emotional lives we add color and texture and depth and complexity to their lives.
A life in the arts means a life of sacrifice and tens of thousands of hours of devotion and discipline with scant remuneration and sometimes even scant recognition. A life in the arts means loving complexity and ambiguity, of enjoying the fact that there are no single, absolute solutions. And it means that you value communicating about matters of the spirit over the baser forms of human interaction, because you know that life is not just a transaction, not simply a game about winning someone’s confidence purely for purposes of material gain. ....I am deeply grateful for your decision..."
 via: Nonesuch.com

Sep 26, 2012

CHOP in Seattle - Part 2

I am back in Texas after my travels this past month to Las Vegas, New York, Houston and Seattle. CHOP just finished a run at the Seattle Fringe Festival. This was my last time to perform it for a while. I have been living pretty close with the piece for the last three years (and began writing it two years before that). I enjoy performing the piece and it was a wonderful gateway  for me to stand front and center on the fringe circuit and see what's what. Up until CHOP I had facilitated/enabled others to do the performing, with me acting as director, producer, designer, etc. With CHOP it was me. My kind of theatre written my way and performed the way I'd want to see it. I am so proud of the piece.

It is time to step away for a bit. I'm sure it will be better - deeper and more resonant - with some distance. The next emergence of the piece will be different and I welcome that. I'm not giving up CHOP indefinitely, but I do plan to release it to the greater world for other theatres and performers to take a crack at and see how it stands. And I'm moving on to other projects, with reinvigorated goals to have a really great, portable, personal touring solo show. And with it, have oodles more adventures, perhaps on the great Canadian Fringe circuit this time.

Also at the Seattle Fringe, I met some outstanding performers, met up with family (it is a rare treat to get to share my art with those closest to me... ironic, I know), and experienced great hospitality from nearly everyone we came across. It is as if the city itself were doing its best to be welcoming...

With this in mind, her's a few final pics of my time in the Pacific Northwest at the Seattle Fringe.


Ruth and I with Grant, on of the organizers of the Seattle Fringe.
At Pikes Place Market.
Our excellent hosts... Richard, Curt and wee Thomas.

My aunt and uncle from Oklahoma happened to be visiting my cousin and his partner, newly relocated to Seattle. They all came to see the show and we grabbed dinner afterwards.

If you are curious, you can see a whole set of my travel pics related with CHOP over the years HERE.


Sep 23, 2012

advice for creative types from a medieval iconographer


Before starting work, make the sign of the cross; pray in silence and pardon your enemies.

1. Work with care on every detail of your icon, as if you were working in front of the Lord, himself.

2. During work, pray in order to strengthen yourself physically and spiritually; avoid, above all, useless words and keep silence.

3. Pray in particular to the saint whose face you are painting. Keep your mind from distractions and the saint will be close to you.

4. When you have to choose a color, stretch out your hand interiorly to the Lord and ask His counsel.

5. Do not be jealous of your neighbour’s work. His success is your success too.

6. When your icon is finished, thank God that His mercy has granted you the grace to paint the holy images.

7. Have your icon blessed by putting it on the altar. Be the first to pray before it, before giving it to others.

8. Never forget the joy of spreading icons in the world, the joy of the work or icon-painting, the joy of being in union with the saint whose face you are painting.

Sep 22, 2012

CHOP in Seattle - Part 1

My solo show CHOP is part way through its final run at the Seattle Fringe Festival. Small to medium audiences still, but great feedback and response. A couple of standing ovations! 

The folks in Seattle are nice and Ruth and I have eaten well since arriving. My hosts for the weekend, Richard (my 2nd cousin) and his partner Curt have been super welcoming. Here's some photos of adventures so far...

Richard and I at Pike's Place Market

Gourmet hotdog sliders at a place around the corner from the theatre, Po Dog's
The stage is set for CHOP at Odd Duck Studio
Ruth and I in front of Starbucks, store #1
"Happy Birthday to me..."
backstage at the Odd Duck Studio
"I just came to walk the pasture..."
 Read Part 2 of CHOP in Seattle... HERE